Stupid Lemon Tart with Gooseberries
“You are such a jerk,” I yelled out at Mario Batali’s cookbook photo (but with more use of the word asshole) as the almond crust dough from his lemon tart recipe crumbled in my hands. I actually love this recipe for its lemon filling. It’s like making a lemon curd but then you lighten in with whipped egg whites. But whenever I go to make it I have that little “itch” in the back of my mind reminding me that something is going to make me livid. For one thing, the quantity of crust is way too big for the 9″ tart pan (in my opinion) and secondly, it never comes together–if you x-rayed this dessert-you’d find a patchwork quilt of dough pieces which would mirror the fragmented state of my pie sanity.
And what’s up with ambiguous instructions like, “the juice of three lemons”? Big lemons, little lemons? I guess he means “just right” lemons. Sorry. This pie crust makes me angry. It’s not the lemons, it’s me.
cheese and toast 
Alright, it’s official- you’re hilarious. There’s a large part of me that hopes someone in Batali’s camp finds this post, invites you on a show with Mario, and you get to share your frustration with him and the whole free world on national television- and of course, make a lemon dessert with him. Oh, so many laughs. It did come out beautiful, though, I have to say. 😉
I would like to see him use this exact recipe and make that pie crust. oh yes, I would like to see him FAIL! Thanks so much for the note.