Tailgate Party, here I come. According to Wikipedia, I don’t even have to like sports to hang out in a parking lot with a portable slow cooker. SEE HERE. Nor do I have to own a vehicle with a tailgate. I just have to consume alcohol and grilled food in a social setting. DONE. As for the parking lot… If I get a parking permit I can drink beer and eat chicken wings in my car, parked right outside my house. And the bonus? No need for a port-a-potty as a real bathroom is just steps away (if you consider a 1970’s lavender toilet and sink a real bathroom).
I found this TAILGATE magazine at Wal-Mart (issued by Better Homes and Gardens). Right away I thought, if “Grab a chip! Nine ways to Dip!” doesn’t fit into my new vegetarian-ish lifestyle, then I don’t know what does. (Count ’em! 1. Spinach-dill 2. Roasted pepper hummus 3. Corn and black bean chutney guacamole 4. tomatillo salsa 5. Spinach-Articoke-Blue cheese and bacon (all vegetarians still eat bacon) 6. Mexican seven layer 7. Chocolate Fruit Dip and 8. something called Amaretto fluff…..hopefully there’s not a kitten involved)
OK, OK, #9 is a Cheeseburger dip, but if you’ve got 8 veggies dips, who’s going to notice?
Once you see what’s inside this magazine may never need to by another cookbook:
**Recipe for Root Beer Float Cake
**Recipe for a White Chili made with chicken, sour cream and whipping cream (you can use 10% if you’re cutting back on fat)
**Recipe for Grilled Paella w/ sausage
**A “Timings and Temperatures” chart that covers beef, lamb, pork, chicken, turkey, fish and seafood (it’s colourful and you can tear it out!)
**And calorie and sodium reduction tips like, “pack your bun with only half the massive amount of Texas Beef Brisket that you usually do”
**Best of All– A taste-test of 16 hot sauces purchased at hotsaucedepot.com (it’s almost enough to have discovered a Hot Sauce Depot)
So laugh and feel superior as you eat your salmon hand-roll, but just know that you’re not having nearly as good a time as the gal eating the Ragin’ Cajun Wings while sipping a Bloody Mary in the back of her Subaru. (Also, I know you’re drooling over the magazine cover, not the nori wrap on your sushi.)